"When kids from dysfunctional families are old enough to start seeing the inside of other people's families, it's usually something they don't forget. This may be the first time they've ever seen a more "normal" family in action, and it may be the first realization that what goes on in their family is not the way it is for everyone. This age is often the beginning of a decades-long search for answers to the question, "Why did things happen the way they did in my family?" Ask anyone who grew up in a very dysfunctional family how they felt about things when they were four or five, and you'll just get a blank look, even if family life was violent, crazy, or bizarre. "It's just the way it was. I didn't feel anything in particular" is the usual answer. No, they don't feel any particular way "about" it because that usually comes later, when they're old enough to reflect on their experience and when they've seen other possibilities."